I Am Braids and Brass

My truth:
I am a mom of two! One beautiful 2 year old and one hilariously happy 9 month old.
I workout 30 minutes a day MAYBE 45 depending on my kids moods.
I eat mostly clean and swing in and out of being a total zealot and not caring.
I have gone from results focused, to healthy living focused, back to results focused and am finding my way back into a happy heart focus.
I’ve gained a booty in two months, muscles I’ve never seen on my arms before and quads that are noticeable. I search for more but am pulling back that search for being happy and content while still striving for those goals and not getting lazy in my eating habits.
That is my balance.
I am imperfect and insecure but at the same time strong, mindful and powerful.
I don’t have a lot of money.
I shop sales racks, I buy groceries based on sales and I use coupons.
I shop at thrift stores partly because it’s cheaper and partly because I love finding unique clothes no one else is wearing right now.
I feel the strongest I’ve ever felt in my entire life and I’ve only been lifting weights for two months while expecting the results of someone who’s been doing it two years.
None of my pants fit.
Sometimes I yell at my children when I don’t mean to.
Sometimes I’m the most loving calm mother ever.
I drink Shakeology every day and another protein from a local store that isn’t related to beachbody at all.
I love home workouts, I love going to gyms, I love hot yoga and all things outdoors.
I love getting my nails done when I can afford it, but stick to French tips or clear because I hate nail polish; having my hair the perfect colour is always a must.
I love lipstick, I hate mascara.
I love getting dirty playing outside with my kids, I hate getting my hair wet when I go swimming.
I do not fit in a box.
Accepting that is my transformation.

It started with a dumbbell.
I am Braids and Brass.

On Being Reborn

I sent this to my coach last night, because this week I have been struggling. This week I have seen me self sabotage, and head down a path I don’t like.

I want an empire. I want more. I want a business. I want a thriving business. I want to have a free and full life. I want to create a life for my family. I want to leave a legacy for my kids. I want to do something different. Something I’ve never done before. I don’t want to just be fit. Generally active. I want to have goals. To do things on purpose. Not stumble around in them when it’s convenient for me. I want to not have to be at work anymore and hear my son say “I want mommy” on the other end but know I can’t leave yet. I want to own my time. I want to do something every single day, and not stop doing it one day because things feel good, and then completely lose track and balance.

I want to change. I want to break free from old habits. I want to loose the warrior God has put in me but I keep finding ways to not do it. And I just needed to be accountable and say I’m not doing it. I’m trying. But I’m not doing. I’m making excuses. And I’m frustrated with that girl. She isn’t who I look up to.

I don’t know the purpose or end goal of this message, but I just needed to say that. To you. My friend. My coach.

Do you know what’s frustrating? Knowing your potential and not living up to it. Knowing that you can change and not doing it. Falling back on old habits. On old methods. Being that old person who doesn’t get things done.

I’m here right now to write her a letter;

Dear Michelle,

You’ve loved hard, you’ve lost hard. You’ve had joys, you’ve had pain. But you’ve also made choices.

Choices that aren’t bad. Choices that are seemingly … negligible. But choices that don’t fire you up, but drag you down. Slowly. Quietly.

You fall back on, “that’s just who I am.”

You decide on change, you move forward, and when you fall back, you fall hard. So hard and for so long, that you forget how to get back up again. That you expect someone to do it for you.

You expect someone to come pick you up. To say the right thing. To be that person for you.

Not this time.

This time, you’ll pick yourself up. You’ll be that person for yourself.

This time, you have recognized the trend.

And this time, you are capable of more.

You can overcome your habits.

You can overcome your fears.

It’s Easter. And what better time to be reminded that you are reborn.

Rise and Grind Fitness. It stands for rising from the ashes, and hitting the grind hard every day. Not because it’s easy, but because it’s worth it. We’re reborn in the grind.

This is the grind. Today. Here. Now.

This is where you decide are you going to stay the same, or are you going to change?

Are you going to let the things of this world pull you down? Or are you going to recognize that you’ve been reborn; that you’ve been given the strength to accomplish something new and mighty?

You get a chance to be reborn every morning.

And tomorrow morning you rise up with Christ, who died for our sins regardless of if you ever loved him for it. He chose you.

This isn’t just fitness.

This has never been just fitness.

This is about making a stand and saying you are more than you think you are.

And I say that you are loved. I say that you are capable of anything. I say you are royalty; a crown has been bestowed on you, regardless of your merit. And I say these things not out of some divinity I posses of my own, but out of being grounded in who Christ is. And who He says you are.

He says you are whole. He says you are new.

So act whole. Act new.

And rise.

The grind is here. The grind is now.

And you are mighty.

With love,

Michelle