For ten seconds I want you to look around you and search for only things that are red, and commit them to memory, then look back here and keep reading.
Now list off all the things you saw that were green.
Why did I ask you for green things? The point is, you will only see what you are looking for. If you are focusing on the negative things in life, you will only see the negative things. But if you focus on the positive things, guess what happens? That’s right. A brick load of positivity pouring over you.
That’s what I’m trying to do right now. Only look at the positive things. But the negative things are gaining traction and I’ve had enough.
Here’s what’s been going on:
- A week before we left for Hawaii, my husband got laid off.
- The day we left for Hawaii started the perfect storm of misery for my son (molars, undiagnosed ear pain, time change etc) and left him sleepless, miserable and downright awful to be around most of our trip. He made everything harder and we still haven’t recovered. It’s been almost 2 weeks since we’ve been back.
- The day we got BACK from Hawaii, our one and only vehicle decided it was time to start breaking down. For good. And we had to make the decision, with zero income for 2 weeks from either of us and who knew when the next check would come for my husband, to buy a new vehicle.
- We all got incredibly sick from lack of sleep and it is why I am currently awake at 1:30AM because I cannot sleep due to the jaw pain, headache, neck pain, sinus pain, etc.
Sounds pretty awful right? What could I do during this time? Wallow in self pity. Quit building my business to save money. Quit eating well. Quit exercising. Ok I did quit exercising because my 34 week pregnant body said absolutely no more right now. But you get the point.
Life absolutely has kicked us in the face. And we could 100% give up on everything and just “lay low” while the storm passes, but for what exactly? So I can go back to the way I was before all of this? So I can say, “actually God, I’m not so sure you called me to this anymore. Because it’s really hard, and your burden is light, right? So I think I’ll quit…”
This was the old me. The one who gave up. The one who self sabotaged. Who stopped doing everything good for herself simply because life got hard.
Well God doesn’t promise an easy life, but He put me in a business that forced me to dig into myself and dig deep into my why for life, and that why has kept me going.
In fact, all this so called crap that keeps happening is actually fuelling my passion to keep going. I’ve for sure slowed down and only done in my business what I am actually capable of right now; I have to admit to myself that I physically cannot ask more of myself and that this is the season I am in. It’s frustrating to say the least, but I am not hoping for anything. I am doing the smallest, seemingly insignificant steps to push myself forward.
I’m done giving up.
And looking back, here is all the absolutely jaw dropping miracles God provided us during this time:
- An overwhelming sense of peace when Luc lost his job, because we knew it was no longer a place that brought him joy, and it was becoming hard on our family. We knew God would take care of us.
- EI from his employer who made sure his ROE stated reasons for being let go to allow him to receive income while he looked for work.
- A beautifully paid trip to Hawaii; perfect weather for me to enjoy the scorching sun and clouds for Luc and A to hide from the heat in on other days.
- A new job lined up that he didn’t even have to search for upon returning home. This guy called him and offered him a job within 24 hours of talking, INCLUDING 3 weeks off just two months into work so that he can be with his family when our new baby comes. This job comes with his 4th year raise, benefits, a company vehicle as well as a work phone.
- And lastly, our miracle vehicle. The day we decided to go look for a new one, this beauty popped up online and it was the perfect price point, the absolute pinnacle of what we were looking for and then some. We actually felt a little guilty buying it due to how loaded and nice this thing is. Yes, we are in the van clan.
Literally so many incredible God stories these past three weeks.
We have definitely accrued some debt; we haven’t had any income for 3 weeks, and yet… our billing account remains miraculously full.
So while I may be freaking a bit on the inside that my business is costing us money we don’t have, that I can’t work out, that I am incredibly sick and incredibly pregnant…
I have so much faith in the God who provides.
I am so grateful, not just for this stuff, but for the fact that I was encouraged into a company that believes in digging deeper into yourself. It pushed me to know my desires like never before. To be so in touch with my passions that not even the hardest of times will shake me, and to give me a place to focus my energy into in a way that truly blesses my heart.
If you’re going through a rough time, I’m not going to tell you “this too shall pass…”
I’m going to tell you to stop looking at the red, and start looking for the green, and never give up.
Find your why and hold onto it as tight as you can, because all this has done is furthered my resolve to stick with it and push harder than ever.