On my inner mean girl

“I wish I looked as good as I feel” I said to myself this morning. 
“When people meet me, they’re probably disappointed that I don’t look better than I am” 
These are the thoughts rambling about my head today, and it’s not ok. 
I’m a firm believer that body image affects us all, big or small, because we haven’t dealt with our inner voices that tear us down. 
You can lose all the weight in the world and build all the muscle in the world but if you can’t speak KINDLY to yourself and love yourself in your current imperfections, how on earth can you expect to love yourself when you’re at your goal weight? 
The truth is you won’t. 
The truth is you’ll be disappointed that the girl staring back at you is the same girl, and you’ll be sad. 
You’ll feel good, you’ll have more energy and you’ll have all those things you hoped you’d have, but you’ll still feel not done yet. 
You’ll still feel incomplete. 
Because the real work starts in the heart. 
The real work starts with strengthening your MIND. 
I should wake up and tell myself daily that I look FREAKING AMAZING but instead I’m brought down by this little layer of fat? Maybe it’s just skin? My mind is so bent I can’t even tell you what it is. 
The truth is exercise is important. Eating healthy is important.
But if you lose the ability to move your legs one day and suddenly you have it all ripped from you and you have to sit with yourself every day and you gain a few pounds, are you less worthy? 


Are you less worthy? 


No! You’re freaking not! 
You should wake up every morning and look at yourself in the mirror and think I’M A FRICKEN GODDESS YAAAAAS!  
This is not a mindset reserved for the fit and thin! This is available to everyone right freaking now if you just CHOOSE IT!
Yes still work towards a healthy lifestyle, have strength goals, have Self LOVE goals but for fricks sake love your life and love your damn body. 

What’s wrong with the world where someone like ME has tears in her eyes as she takes these photos? 
If you’re overweight let me tell you, SKINNY ISNT THE CURE TO YOUR LOATHING. 
It’s just not. 
You have to work on you. You have to fight more than weights. More than food. More than sore muscles. 
You have to fight your inner demons. 
And that why so many fail, and that is why so many of my clients succeed. I’m here to tell you, we are worth more. We fight these vicious thoughts. 
We fight. 
I won’t find the love I desire by cutting 700 calories and carb cycling. 
I’ll find it by telling myself every day I’m freaking powerful. 
I’m strong. 
I’m beautiful. 
Here’s to living loved. 

I Am Braids and Brass

My truth:
I am a mom of two! One beautiful 2 year old and one hilariously happy 9 month old.
I workout 30 minutes a day MAYBE 45 depending on my kids moods.
I eat mostly clean and swing in and out of being a total zealot and not caring.
I have gone from results focused, to healthy living focused, back to results focused and am finding my way back into a happy heart focus.
I’ve gained a booty in two months, muscles I’ve never seen on my arms before and quads that are noticeable. I search for more but am pulling back that search for being happy and content while still striving for those goals and not getting lazy in my eating habits.
That is my balance.
I am imperfect and insecure but at the same time strong, mindful and powerful.
I don’t have a lot of money.
I shop sales racks, I buy groceries based on sales and I use coupons.
I shop at thrift stores partly because it’s cheaper and partly because I love finding unique clothes no one else is wearing right now.
I feel the strongest I’ve ever felt in my entire life and I’ve only been lifting weights for two months while expecting the results of someone who’s been doing it two years.
None of my pants fit.
Sometimes I yell at my children when I don’t mean to.
Sometimes I’m the most loving calm mother ever.
I drink Shakeology every day and another protein from a local store that isn’t related to beachbody at all.
I love home workouts, I love going to gyms, I love hot yoga and all things outdoors.
I love getting my nails done when I can afford it, but stick to French tips or clear because I hate nail polish; having my hair the perfect colour is always a must.
I love lipstick, I hate mascara.
I love getting dirty playing outside with my kids, I hate getting my hair wet when I go swimming.
I do not fit in a box.
Accepting that is my transformation.

It started with a dumbbell.
I am Braids and Brass.