On being cheap

I am cheap. 

Ask my husband … we spent FOUR YEARS using a stupid BROKEN tea light candle holder as our tamper for our espresso machine 🙄 I kid you not. 
I will wait for the sale day at nutters before I buy anything, and if I forget to go, I will wait a FULL MONTH for the sale again. 
I have 👙 undies that my husband BEGS me to throw out and buy new ones because I’ve had them for longer than we’ve been married 😂

Our jeeps engine had to die before I would get another vehicle even though I knew we had almost outgrown it completely already! 

And I PRIDE myself on my ability to NOT spend money 😜

So the fact that I spend $155 a month on Shakeology is CRAZY out of character for me. You have no idea.
So why? Why did I do it? 
Because I was so deep in post partum depression and all I wanted was something natural and healthy to help put good nutrients in my body daily. 
I did not want anti depressants because deep down I knew that food is medicine and if I could stuff all the right superfoods into a smoothie and SLEEP some, I’d be me again. 
But I can’t. I can’t be that person to shop for all those ingredients every week and use them fast enough that they don’t go bad. I didn’t know what I needed and I didn’t have time to do the research I just needed something not full of crap to help me get daily what I wasn’t getting. 
So in my desperation I reached out to this woman in my church that I connected with who I saw was just announced as an emerald coach with beachbody which I LOVED their programs, but guys I was so sheepish to talk to her and THIS IS HOW CHEAP I AM: 
I wouldn’t pay for my challenge pack. 
I saw the value, but maybe not fully, and we were struggling financially. I couldn’t. I couldn’t let go even if it meant saving money in the long run, I couldn’t see that way. I mean we all know if we invest in our health NOW we save in the long term but I have such a hard time actually doing that for myself. 
MY COACH (now I’m crying) made me a deal. If I could come up with X amount of money, she would make an investment in me and cover the rest. Who does that? 
Well, I did it. 
I sold stuff. My own personal possessions. I sold them for this. 
I didn’t know how the next month would be paid. Or the next. Or the next. But I couldn’t think that far. I just needed to move and my depression was holding my brain hostage and this was the only solution that made sense to me. 
And you know what? So many people were attracted to my journey, because y’all I BEAT post partum depression and anxiety through nutrients and endorphins that I never ended up having to pay for it those next few months my husband was in school. 
And this stupid gimmicky miracle shake (what I thought at first) turned out to be the most incredible life changing nutrient vitamin superfoods drink my body craves daily. 
And it’s not a “miracle”. It’s vitamins. Superfoods. Nutrients. But for the situation I was in…it was my miracle. And it is a miracle for so many others!
Now I am a happy, thriving momma. Nothing is perfect but everything is ok. 
Nothing can ever convince me to stop drinking this. Nothing can ever convince me to stop sharing this. 
Nothing. 

I don’t have a product for you. I have a solution. 
It’s time to get over your doubts and dive in. 
Hit contact me and let’s start talking about how your life can change and about a solution. 

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On Why I Hated this Picture 


I HATE that my first thought when I saw this photo was that I should have flexed my core. I took this picture to celebrate myself. My achievement. Not just my body. My dedication. My work. My transformation as a woman. And yet I cringed. 

I HATE that we women, no MATTER our size or shape criticize ourselves. We are not just taught to look a certain way, but at its core we are taught we are not enough. 

NO MORE.

 
I am a daughter of the King and I am not going to be apart of tearing myself apart anymore because I think as women we are all connected and as such, when I tear myself down, I tear down everyone watching. I won’t be apart of that anymore. 

I am officially RELEASING myself of the results I want and think will be good enough and I declare that I am already good enough. I am enough. I am simply exploring the curiosity of my heart God placed in me ❤ and I’m walking forward into new areas of playfulness regardless of where it may lead.
 
You must love yourself where you start if you want to love yourself at the end. 
It is OK to want to redefine your body. Body love movements make me feel like it’s NOT OK that I want to do this, but I won’t accept it. Even if it’s not meant to, I won’t accept it even from myself. 

Body love means be big, be small, be YOU. 
Yes, you should absolutely exercise. You should get your heart rate up 30 minutes a day 3-5x a week. Garden, golf or walk. If you want your body to change, that is OK. It doesn’t mean you hate yourself it means you want to find the person you love. Maybe you’ve lost that person … I lost that person for a long time and being thinner wasn’t what found me. 
I found myself in MOVEMENT. 

If you’re looking to unleash the fierce warrior inside, to unveil the person that’s been hidden for too long, take action. 

Your time is now. 

No more. 

I am enough. 

On Celebrating Failure

The year of discipline continues 📖 
Since the start of my journey, I have been trying to find my way back into the word of God. In all truth I was mad at Him for a long time for all the hell we went through and I had a hard time reconnecting. 
But I know my Jesus, and despite the struggles and hard times He is with us, and I knew I had to come back to him. 
Fitness saved my life, and God gave me fitness. I used to feel guilty for being able to dedicate myself to a workout daily but not to reading my Bible and now I don’t because I understand something, that fitness was the only way BACK to Him. It’s the only way to clear my head of the frustrations, of the fog that was post partum depression, of the anxiety … it’s what gave my mind rest. 
Sometimes I cried when I finished workouts in the beginning. Sometimes I still do, because it’s through movement I find peace, I find God there. 
Fast forward to today. Today has been a long long time in the making, and it’s only through trying and failing daily for a year that I sit here successful today, and by trying I mean thinking about doing it and not doing it. That’s it. I made no big efforts except the intention in my heart to succeed, knowing full well my standing with God was not dependent on my Bible reading, but my growth is. 
I look at this the same way it takes some people to start clean eating or to start exercising, because I don’t LIKE reading my Bible. Not yet. Because there’s no emotional joy attached to it. It feels like a chore and so that is how I am approaching it. 
Instead of sitting down trying to have these all powerful moments every day I’ve simplified the process for myself. I wanted to start January 1st but I didn’t and that’s ok, I started today. I will simply read the Bible on a schedule for the simple sake of finishing it in one year (which fully reminds me of the days in Jakarta that we spent reading the Bible non stop for THREE DAYS over the city we were ministering to. Powerful stuff.) 
And for some reason, today was the day. 

It’s the slight edge. It’s the compound effect of positive steps forward every single day, so whatever you’re trying to accomplish I encourage you to fail gloriously every single day and rejoice in your failure because it will lead to your success. 
Never feel bad for your journey. It is yours and yours alone, and if you need someone to celebrate failure with, look me up. I’m really good at failing forward. 

New Year New You … Or Not?

And just like that, it’s gone. 

We’ve all sat down and written intentions (or lots of us have) but have we changed? 

No. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately) we all woke up today the same people we were yesterday. You’re not the new you. Nothing has changed except the number on a calendar. It all feels fresh but what is really different? 

Nothing. 

Woah downer Debbie thanks for the uplifting blog post on the first day of the year. 

Relax. It’ll get good. 

You have to make a choice today. A plan too, everyone will talk about the plan you need, but also a really important choice. 

Keep trying. 

Don’t quit. 

If you want that life you’ve dreamed of you need to do everything possible to make sure you don’t forget what you want in this moment and what you want this year to be. 

You need to set it in your mind right now that it is happening and regardless of the perceived failure, regardless if you don’t get to exactly where you want when you want you will just keep going

The world has enough quitters, but you my darling are no quitter. 

You are no different today than you were yesterday but every day you make small steps in that direction. You fight for it and you believe in the compound effect of your actions. 

You will not change your body composition with a workout. Nor will you change with a salad. But with many whole foods and many workouts, eventually, one day you’ll lose a pound. And another. 

If you can focus on the lifestyle changes that will get you to your goals, in any capacity, you’ll find yourself at a place of success withit one  day. 

Not making sense? 

Well, I have a lot of business goals this year, but without a cultivation of discipline, none of those goals matter. I have to be disciplined and constant daily trusting in the compound effect of my efforts and then one day boom. It happens. 

I have been trying to get a handle on cleaning my home for two and a half years. Really a year of actively trying, the previous year and a half I spent crying wondering why I couldn’t do it. Then I became a coach and started dedicating myself to fitness and clean eating again, and just suddenly one day it was a habit. Boom. 6x a week I exercise without question. It just is. The next step was learning to clean my home. Tips, tricks, Pinterest and lists. I’d done it all and nothing seemed to help me. But I kept trying. 

And suddenly, it felt like overnight there was just a switch in my brain that flipped. It all clicked and I now have a routine to clean daily. I used to be like a 5 year old when it came to chores! I couldn’t wrap my mind around it! But then the compound effect of my actions clicked in and like an overnight success I just started. 

It was mind blowing and it’s changed my life and perspective on habits and how to make that stubborn determined choice where you force the flip of the switch and you just simply do something new. 

All this to say is that you are not a new you yet, but you will be if you do the small, seemingly insignificant daily disciplines that lead to your goals. 

Find out what they are, write them down somewhere you can see them every single day, and get to work. 

2017 can only be yours if you take it. 

It won’t just happen. 

So here’s to the new you; the person you are growing into and that I look forward to celebrating very soon. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some dishes to do. 

Out with the old, but may we always hold it’s memories close.