On Fitness and Depression

I didn’t realize how closely tied fitness is to my happiness, even after all I’ve been through, until I lost it again. 

If you’ve followed my blog for any length of time, you probably know I have suffered through post partum depression, come out the other side through fitness and supplements and began creating a business around my passion to see people experience the freedom clean eating and exercise provides. 

I am currently 35 weeks pregnant


and in recent weeks, as my pregnancy has progressed and slowed me down, as my son lost his sleep dragging us with him we have all completely quit exercising. It started in Hawaii where I felt comfortable replacing my daily workouts with long walks up and downhill. But this is also where we lost our sleep again; walking became more and more difficult and I have started getting intense Braxton hicks and sore to touch belly. Essentially my body asked me to stop. 

So I stopped. 

I focused on everything else; water, vitamins, shakeology, clean eating and figured it’d be enough to carry me through the end of my pregnancy, but I realized today that it’s not. I’ve realized why I can’t seem to be positive, why I can’t seem to pull myself together. I thought it was just pregnancy and I recognize that some of it for sure is, but if success leaves clues I assume it’s the same of the opposite. And I started noticing the clues. 

Dreading work every day, being utterly consumed by my struggles, unable to do laundry, dishes etc…I have my basics I learned and am able to fall back on like setting a timer and 10-15 mins of something here and there, but all around my brain is a fog and my ability to get through a day is pretty minimal. 

Those are pretty clear cut clues and there are for sure more, but what frustrated me the most this time was the ability to see my way out and not be able to do it. 

The body needs to move. I would love to exercise daily again, truly, but am genuinely unable to right now as I’ve been sick for 10 days and can’t imagine pushing my body that hard. Or can I? Does it need to be that hard? Part of me wonders if just a few minutes of weights would pump my blood enough to lift this fog, and yet not be so strenuous as to put too much strain on my body. 

We seem all so easily fall into an all or nothing mindset and maybe it just doesn’t have to be that way. 

All I know is that as much as I crave my non pregnant body and getting ripped and ready to compete in a physique competition, I crave my healthy mind even more. 

Literally everyone feels better when they’re eating well and exercising. The body was created to move. 

So this week I commit to dedicate at least 10 minutes of low impact, slow paced exercise regardless of my circumstances. Because it feels like my life falls completely apart without it. 

And I am worth it, and so are you. 

Move forward, no matter how small, no matter how insignificant it may seem. 

Let’s move forward together. 

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