You guys something crazy is happening … I just put my first post up in my VERY OWN Private Coaching Group (photo^ ha). And I freaking cried. I COULD blame being pregnant, or I could admit what most of you know, and that’s that I’m an emotional human being.
My last sentence in my post is what got me …
Welcome to the Grind Brassheads#kicksomebrass
And I was completely overcome with all the feelings. Why? Why is this so emotional to me? Well … I’ve been dreaming of this for a long time. To start a movement, to start changing lives. And I NEVER knew how to do it until now, and when I said those few words, it just felt so incredibly real. So real I just started to cry. To release.
It’s an incredibly healing point in my journey to be reaching out and helping others; to identify with the struggle of depression, anxiety and getting back to fitness after having kids and to actually have a tangible way to give back when I felt taken from for so long.
There were days that I laid in bed, staring at the wall, knowing I should be out watching my son making sure his adventurous heart didn’t get him incredibly hurt, but I couldn’t bring myself to get up. One day he actually stuck his finger in a fan because I was laying in bed, unwilling to force myself up. He was fine don’t worry! But I was pretty emotionless about the whole thing. I felt like a blank slate. I just didn’t care about much anymore, and it ate at me. I felt like the worlds worst mother. And at the same time, I felt nothing most days.
I look back and see a girl who didn’t know how to do anything. I see someone who was lost in their own world, adrift in a body that was foreign to them. Sure, I was skinny. As if that’s all that matters, but I’ve eaten healthy for a long time, and abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym. So to a lot of people, I looked like I had it together. But I was a far cry from the strong, healthy girl I once knew.
I literally could not do dishes. I actually felt anxious because I felt like I didn’t even know how to start. Some days I still feel like this. Anxiety piles in my chest over a sink full of dishes. Sometimes I physically feel like I can’t pick up the toilet bowl brush to scrub the toilet because in my mind, I just can’t. It’s a scramble, a mess. I’m still picking up the pieces to make a whole picture.
But I’m not alone. By reaching out, by starting something new, God’s created this incredible community of women around me. I started this at first with “I’ve created…” but I’ve only done what God’s asked me to do, and that’s take a step. Now take another step. Now do it again. Every day. Compound interest of positive actions. Just move forward. Every single day.
That’s why this means SO much to me.
I was pretty set on Team Kick some Brass because it was fun, had some great marketing phrases available to it, and I’m still going to use it, because it jives with my fun mood. But first and foremost, I had started with Rise and Grind, and it’s hung in my heart because it feels like something I can attach my soul to.
For me, it reminds me that I rose up from the ashes.
I’ve been reborn. Pulled from the mire onto the shore where I dug my nails in, and began to grind. Crawling out of a pit takes grit. It takes effort. It takes determination. It takes brass.
Somewhere deep inside me is a woman not willing to give up. Someone willing to work, to fight, and to save herself.
And now I get to use my freedom, my joy, to share with others.
Team Rise and Grind stands for hard work, for dedication, and for falling down in the muck and getting right back up.
We don’t believe in perfection, but we do believe in grit.
Welcome to the Grind.